Ethical dilemma #035
Your partner has plans to go out and you need company. Would you ask her to stay?
Your partner bought a ticket to go out with friends. After a difficult day, you want her with you, but have not told her yet.
Related reflectionSomeone Who Loves You Cannot Read Your Mind↗What would you do in this situation?
Choose an answer before continuing.
The context
Weeks ago, your partner bought a ticket for a concert with her friends. You knew about the plan and told her you were fine with it. Today you had a difficult day at work and would like to spend the evening with her. You are not in danger or in need of urgent help, but you feel sad and do not want to be alone.
As she gets ready to leave, she asks how you are. You answer "fine," although you wish she would stay. You know she cannot guess what you need and would lose the ticket money if she cancels. You also know hiding your feelings could leave you lonelier and lead you to blame her tomorrow for a decision she made without knowing your situation. You can ask her to stay, tell her how you feel without asking her to change plans, or stay silent. What would you do now?
A perspective to continue
Asking for company lets the other person choose while knowing what is happening. How would you express your need without treating her plan as a test of how much she loves you?
04
What your decision prioritizes
You express a real need. Your partner might want to be with you, but would also lose an outing agreed on with her friends.
You give her information without demanding that she cancel. A brief conversation may not offer all the company you need tonight.
You respect her plan and seek another form of support. If you hide your feelings, she cannot make a decision knowing your need.
How other people responded
Percentages will appear after enough responses have been collected.
0 recorded decisions
05
Your partner tells you this outing is important to her: she has canceled two previous get-togethers with these friends and has been looking forward to seeing them for months.
Now that you know this, would you stand by your decision?
Stand by it
The new information does not change your decision. Consider whether your original reasons still hold in light of what you have just learned.
Change it
What you have just learned leads you to choose a different response. Which detail changed how you see the situation?
I need to know more
The new information leaves you with an important question. What would you need to ask before acting?
0% changed their mind after learning the new context
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