reflections / Loneliness
Learning to Be Alone Can Help You Choose a Partner More Freely
When loneliness feels unbearable, almost any company can seem like an escape. Sometimes we choose the relief of not being alone more than the person in front of us. You do not have to enjoy every moment of being single to love well. But friendships, routines, and a life you can sustain give you room to ask whether a relationship is good for you. Wanting a partner is valid; feeling unable to live without one can make choosing harder.
When you cannot bear being alone, almost any company can seem right. Friends and a life of your own give you more room to choose a relationship that is good for you.
The context
There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner. But if a relationship feels like your only chance for company, it may be harder to notice bad treatment or very different plans for life.
You might accept plans you do not enjoy because you fear spending the weekend alone. Seeing a friend again or joining an activity can offer other kinds of company. That does not remove your wish for a partner; it helps keep one relationship from becoming all you have.
You do not need to learn to live without help before falling in love. We all need other people. Keep friendships and interests while getting to know someone, and ask whether you enjoy their company and are treated with respect.
FAQ
Questions and answers
Editorial questions and examples inspired by public discussions. They are not reader testimonials.
I do not enjoy being single. Does that mean I am not ready for a relationship?
No. You can want a partner and need companionship. Broaden your support so that need does not make you accept any treatment or place your whole life with one person.
Seeing friends again helped me realize that refusing a bad relationship did not leave me without any company.
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